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There is a saying in NLP that the person with the most flexibility controls the system. In other words, the person who can be the most flexible will have more choices available to them and therefore has the most influence of any system.

How true is this, I wonder?

I used to think that the opposite was true - the person with the least flexibility controls the system because everyone else finds themselves bending and flexing to fit around their less flexible colleague, friend or family member.

And there is the key - the person who is flexible has more choices available to them.

So, the person who is able to flex and bend creates many more opportunities and choices for themselves.

Take today, for example - I've just had the text message from school to say its closed today due to adverse weather conditions. Yep, it is pretty snowy out there!

Now, I could make life quite challenging for myself by being rigid in my thinking and stressing...this is a huge inconvenience because I have to work today, I have a meeting or I'd arranged to meet my friend for lunch.

Or I could be flexible and embrace the last minute change of plans by thinking what a great opportunity to have a duvet day, make snowmen or catch up with school project work!

This doesn't change the fact that its snowing or school is closed or I may have to change my plans as a result...but being flexible rather than rigid in my thinking does change the way I approach the challenge.

Imagine how much easier it could be if we adopted a more flexible approach in life - what challenges could be resolved if we recognised the importance of flexibility in our attitude and behaviour.

Of course, going back to our less flexible colleague, friend or family member - yes, we may bend and flex to fit around them on occasions and we still have choice. We can choose to flex sometimes and not flex on other occasions. We can choose to flex with good nature and compassion rather than being all grumpy about it. We can choose to loosen their rigidity by demonstrating there may be another way.

So, I'm going to enjoy having a duvet day AND help Dan to catch up with school project work...result!!

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