It's Not Fair...



As I write this title, I have the Lily Allen song running through my head! Its been running through my head quite a bit this week, which is unusual as I'm not usually that auditory!


I feel as if I am an observer at the moment in many different areas of my life...watching situations unfold with friends and family and coming back to the phrase 'It's not fair'.


I would not dream of sharing these situations in a public arena and yet I am watching people I love being treated really unfairly in a variety of different situations. I'm also seeing it in a professional setting at the moment, so there is definitely a pattern running here.


'All I want is fairness' said one friend the other day, who is suffering at the hands of someone who is making their life a misery right now.


As I stand back and observe, the common pattern appears to be that those who shout loudest when telling 'their truth' seem to be getting their own way...whether it is fair or not.

And my observations are not limited to personal situations - look at Brexit, Donald Trump and perhaps politics in general!


Of course, in NLP, we understand that any truth is only true from the perspective of the person telling that truth. That is why the police observe variety in witness statements, because each witness sees things from their own perspective and interprets what they see based upon their experience of life. This understanding forms the basis of one of the most powerful models in NLP, the Communication Model, originally developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler.


But what can we do about it, when some people are being seen and heard more than others and this is, by default, creating an unlevel playing field, a situation that is less than fair? Do we have to stand up and shout even louder or make ourselves seen by being brighter and bolder?


What happens if this is not our way of doing things? What if we are less than willing to compromise ourselves by shouting more loudly and stepping out more boldly? How do we create fairness when our version of the truth stays hidden?


I don't have the answer...yet?



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