When I was a young girl I always wanted to be one of 'those people' on the stage - performing, singing, acting. I envied them for their courage...being up there in front of all those people...and even looking like they were enjoying it!
I watched them all - the principal players, the bit players, the chorus and even the orchestra. I had a lot of opportunities to watch these people because my dad belonged to a Choral and Operatic Society!
And when I went to a 'proper', professional show in a real theatre, my admiration grew ten fold and my eyes grew even wider so I could drink it all in - the vast stage, the detailed sets, the cool props, bright lighting and special effects!
Actually, if I am honest, this isn't a childhood thing - I have always responded to theatre and music shows in this way! When I took Daniel to see "We Will Rock You" and when Kash and I went to see Cassidy Jansen in 'Beautiful', I was just as awestruck as I had been as a child...only as an adult, I would also get a little despondent because I had never done this 'thing' I admired so much in others...
Fast forward two years and I find myself sitting here, slightly gobsmacked from last night's London Show Choir appearance, backing Russell Watson in Colchester...I was one of the thirty strong chorus, sitting on stage with Russell Watson less than 10 feet away from me...and we even had what the musical director, Mike Moran, referred to as our own 'solo spot' in the show.
'Gobsmacked' because of the slow realisation that I am living out my dream. I was on the stage, singing and being a part of a 'proper' professional live musical production. I don't know why I only realised this last night - earlier this year we backed Kerry Ellis at the Union Chapel and Cassidy Jansen at the Actors Church - yes, the same Cassidy Jansen I had seen in 'Beautiful'...and I have sung on stage a fair amount since first joining a 'grown up' choir.
But last night was different because it was when my awareness finally caught up with my reality...
I am achieving a long held dream and today I am very grateful that a lifetime of seemingly unrelated events has guided me to being right here, right now.