I seem to have joined a new club...that very lucky set of ladies who are also grandmas!
There are many things we seem to have in common, including that understanding that we hold a very privileged position in the circle of life of our grandchildren.
As I said last week, I wasn't quite prepared for the rush of unconditional love I feel for Edward and he takes up a fair amount of space in my thoughts every day...I look forward to the next piece of news, photo, video or comment to pop onto my phone...and as for real life cuddles...well, to be honest, if I could give up work now and become a full time Edward cuddler, I would!
One of the other things I share with my fellow grandmas, nans and nonnas is the awareness of the fine line we walk within our families - that fine line between 'over' and 'under' playing our role.
What do I mean by that? Well, as I said, I'd be more than happy to be cuddling Edward full time, as well as helping my son and daughter-in-law with shopping, washing, cooking, cleaning and anything else they may or may not want from me...and that, I suspect, would be over playing my role.
Of course, the opposite of that is stepping back too far in my attempt to give them space and time and of course, allow them to conserve their energy as much as they can, given the life changing events and sleepless nights they are experiencing!
When I was a new mum, many moons ago, I experienced both with my own parents and in-laws...which may be why I recognise there is a very fine line between 'too much' and 'not enough'. I have wondered if I got the balance right at various times in my children's lives, ...and adding a grandchild into the mix certainly introduces a whole new layer!
Lets face it, that fear of 'too much' or 'not enough' applies to everyone in many areas of their lives and probably impacts on many relationships, especially where one person's experience is different to another - after all, what is 'too much' for one person could easily be 'not enough' for another!
The key, I suspect, is TRUST.
When I trust my intuition, I have a better idea of where the fine line is.
When I trust the relationship, I am confident that good communication will support finding the fine line...there is no failure, only feedback!
When I trust in Love and follow my heart, I know that all is well.
And over time, maybe the 'fine line' just appears to widen as we walk it more confidently.