It's What You Do



"It's just what you do" is a phrase that has cropped up a few times this week, mainly when talking with my daughter-in-law, Shannen, about being a mum.


Really, the phrase would be more accurately stated as 'It's just what I do' because whatever we do, we base our decisions, choices and actions on our own beliefs and values. Now of course, where those beliefs and values came from in the first place is another story for another day!


Shannen and I clearly share some core beliefs and values about 'being a mum' - I would die for my children - I'd donate my organs or get run over by the bus to save them, if I had to! And as a new mum herself, Shannen would do the same for Edward. So for us, it is 'just what we would do', because it is in our nature to do so.


It is not the same for everyone though. I know that not all mums are the same...because all people are different and have their own life experiences that colour the way they behave. Which is, of course, what NLP is all about - empowering us to better understand how all verbal and non verbal communications impact on our behaviour.


When I did my NLP Trainer's Training, my trainers, Jo, Melody and Julie, were very clear about us taking responsibility for our own actions and they taught me a lot about the subtle use of language in this area.


There are many times when I hear'you' language, placing responsibility on and giving ownership to others, rather than using 'I' language, taking responsibility and ownership for ourselves...just listen to news interviews with politicians, who delight in telling YOU what YOU believe and what YOU are thinking! My frequent comment, when I am talking back to the radio, is 'How do you know what I am thinking?'


I wonder how many times you will notice 'you' language in the next week, when perhaps 'I' language would be far more empowering for both you and me :)

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