Whilst I was doing my daily practice earlier, I was musing about what to write today. Certain phrases, that I have experienced recently, kept popping into my head and I rejected them quickly, deciding they were too negative or controversial or emotive…or all three!
They kept creeping in and the more my logical head tried to eject them from my mind, the more my heart gently pushed them back into the foreground. In the end I wrote down the phrases, so I could move on with my practice…
“What you are saying doesn’t apply to me”
“My needs are more important than yours”
“You are wrong and the moral thing to do would be to admit you are wrong”
These relate to life situations being experienced right now…and funnily enough are things I have heard before. So, what is the message here? What is the repeating pattern? What is it that grates with me and pushes red buttons?!?
I am far from perfect…and I do my best to respect the values and opinions held by others, even if they do not tally with my own. I do my best to listen to others and understand that we all have slightly different perceptions of reality, because we all see things from our own perspective.
Where compromise and compassion are required, I give both willingly and I hope I treat others as I wish to be treated myself. I hope I understand that every form of communication, whether written or spoken, is a communication between two people, who are equally responsible for how that communication pans out (to clarify, I am referring to communication between two adults here!)
And yet I notice, especially recently, that in certain situations, the repeating pattern seems to be a perception that they are ‘right’ (therefore I am wrong?) and I must shift my values, opinions or views to meet their expectations.
What happened to tolerance in our society and to respecting others even if their views don’t match our own. We all have a voice and we all have a valid opinion and surely, our intended outcome for every communication is a win:win…that is what I wish for in our society and I believe there are still many of us that feel the same.